you can't say i'm stupid for participating because i know what an ultimately useless endeavor it is. what awareness nonsense. reduce global warming. all this is bullshit, and i know it, despite my often trying to convince people otherwise. haha. it's the look of things, you know? so hypocritical to be doing something that i don't believe in. so yeah here's the truth now! earth hour was completely, utterly useless. did you really care? or were you just doing it because everyone else was doing it?

but it was fun. darkness and candle-light and playing with my cats, long past 9.30 pm. that's the real reason i did it, and why i want to do it again sometime soon.

i know that a lot of you have concluded that telling me your problems means having to undergo my judgement. but you know what? that isn't true. even though sometimes i don't give a fuck about your problems (only because i find it hard to even give a fuck about my own), i will still give you what you need. when you tell me things, i will not judge you.

please believe me.

how naive i was when i assumed that my friendships would go on without me needing to put in more effort than i can afford. it's not that way, will never be that way. because next to none of my friends really need me, kan? you don't have to lie to me. i know.

i want to name names, i want to tell the world who i'm talking about, but what would be the point? i'm already being left out of things, it was happening right in front of my eyes last year but i was too blind to see - or perhaps just too tired of being hurt. isn't it strange how it's the people i thought i was least close to who are now keeping in touch with me the best?

hey.

chemistry is my favourite subject.

right now i'm wondering how long it will take for my schoolmates to find my blog. as you all know i'm something of a stalker d: so i'm reading (ex) sri nobelians' blogs. it's quite funny because a couple of them actually write. as in, poems and shit. only they suck hahaha. i'm not going to name names because i'll probably be hurt for it - if they ever find this, which is doubtful because i don't think i'll tell them kan d: got to have somewhere to bitch about them.

speaking of school la, it's better and worse than i thought it would be. better in the sense that i made friends alright, and work is not too bad. worse in the sense that there's no one i can really click with, and people here are, frankly, pretty unintelligent compared to DJ students. i actually thought people would be really smart/competitive. well i thought wrong d:

have been on auto-pilot in school, i mean, it's really fucking exhausting. more so than DJ because at DJ i had friends who knew what i go through most days. here, not so. and like i said before i'm not planning on telling them much of anything. i mean sure i tell nicole about shit that happens to my relatives, but that's because they're my relatives. not my immediate family, except one time when i was really feeling pressured and so i said something about my mother that most people don't even suspect. haha. she knows nothing about me though d: thats the way i'd like to keep it.

also, my subordinate in the editorial board for the school magazine is an idiot. honestly. i edit your fucking article you TAKE MY EDITING AND USE IT LA. god. my proficiency and eloquence with english >>>>>>>>>>>>>> yours. kthxbai.



ah my cat is so cute.